Testimony

Brief Testimony of My Walk

Background

0-7 Days: I was dedicated to the LORD. Every Christian family should do this with their children.

Age 7-9: I always knew about God and Jesus but this age was when I first came to start learning about Jesus, God and the gospel, but it was through Jehovah Witnesses. During this age I also found out about my calling and had no idea at the time. Jesus began teaching me and guarded me from the false doctrines with in the Jehovah Witness denominations.

Age 9: I got caught up in pornography, my first time seeing it. Demons used family members who practiced this sin to be negligent and have me stumble across movies.

Age 11: I got caught up in masturbation and was now officially addicted. This issue only grew very worse as I went into high school and college.

College days/Adult life: In college I expanded my addiction to video games and anime, I picked up so many demons from these two it is not even close to amusing. There were months I would just spend hours streaming anime watching full seasons, full out binges. I also was addicted to a certain on-line mmo game. I remember the day when I had to make the ridiculously hard decision to go to work or skip work and continue fighting a boss with these other 10 to 12 people and get this rare dagger that might drop from the monster. It sounds funny now, but when demons have you hooked, it feels like the most important thing at that time. I thankfully chose to go to work. That was a mile stone in my life, for if I chose the game, that would have opened a door to a lack of self-control and discipline which would have cursed me, causing me to not be able to hold a job. There are people in the world who are currently like this. Some die playing video games, and it's simply because people prefer that world over this one. I started living the night life partying and getting drunk and doing what many do during this season of life, so when it was not video games and anime and pornography it was this. There were a number of times where Jesus kept my life. I got into a very bad accident on my way to a bar almost killing one of my best friends, then the next week another friend who was with us at the time of my accident, got into an accident and died, they were not a Christian and still living in the sins of this world (this still bothers me to this day). I had been around a number of fights were people have been bottled and things of this nature, I have been on the cross hairs of angry men over foolishness I would rather not repeat here. Many times I could have died early and ended up in hell and lost for all eternity. But God.

The LORD had began really tugging me to start getting serious with Him. I knew I had to get baptized and other members of my family had started going to church and changing their lives as well. I broke a promise to a family member who had me promise I would come to church that New Years, Jesus told them I was going be saved. They heard correctly, I broke the promise that year and it was the worse year of that season of my life. By the time the year ended many of my friends hated me, they were no where to be found out of business, I was still bound to pornography though Jesus Himself convicted me even in this time and I just felt like a sinful pile of trash. A family member told me that God was trying to get my attention, and He often does it this way, removing things from our lives and kind of cornering us to make a decision, things we try and piece together just crumble all over the place. After falling into sin of pornography and sexual immorality again that New Years I was tired of what I was doing and I chose to finally go to church the next week. When I went I did not turn back from Jesus.

Religious hypocrite

2008: Started going to church, day one the pastor preached on my life, about how everything was crumbling because Jesus was trying to get my attention. I continued to go realizing God was calling me out of my old life. I got baptized both in water and in the Holy Spirit, I no longer watched pornography, did not have a desire for it, that New Years night was the last time. I had been to places where it was playing (before I got baptized) but I felt nothing, I was completely delivered. I did still masturbate, lust and give into other sins even in the heart. I stopped clubbing a week after my baptism. The last time I went I tried to talk to a girl about Jesus and she asked me straight "Do you know where you are right now?" I then realized that I did not belong there anymore. The next week was when I got baptized in the Holy Spirit while praying at a mens retreat with the church. Everything really changed after that.

2009: I went to bible college, however it was only for one year. I had also joined th choir and was very zealous for the church traditions. I had many trials the LORD put me through, emotional trials where my mind was attacked heavily. Still struggling with sin and being in bondage did not help.

2009-2011 Though I was outwardly liked and respected by many in my church at the time, though I had a very good reputation with them and though I as known to be a very serious do not play around kind of young man of God, though I was very knowledgeable in the scriptures, I continued in slavery to sexual perversion and masturbation lying to myself calling it a fight. It was so bad that I would try and pray and feel things crawling in me compelling me and I would leave prayer and go and sin, then feel like a whore after. It was so bad that I would go to church in the morning, then leave church being filled with lust and full of attacks and go home and sin. I would go to church in the evening feeling shamed, it would take a while during service to feel better, I became addicted to being at church to get that spiritual high. I would then sometimes still go home and sin even after that. There were days when I stopped going home in-between services and just stayed there praying at the alter or walking up and down through the seats. Through out the week I was a mess, there was one day I was about to accept that I just could not stop that Jesus was fine with how far I came, but something in me (the Holy Spirit) would not allow me to accept this. People, even family members would tell me that this was normal and a part of life, but deep down inside I wanted to stop and knew I should stop.

Born Again

2011: In the summer I read 1 John 3:5-9 and was convicted knowing I was still sinning and the truth was, I really did not know Jesus according to that scripture. I accepted this truth and I prayed and asked the LORD that if this is literally true that we can actually stop sinning and even come to a place were we cannot sin, I want it, I said, "I want to know you". July for the first time, the LORD interrupted me while I was praying and listing my religious works and how I believed I was pleasing to Him. He showed me how I was still masturbating. I listed to Him all the excuses I knew of why I felt justified, I told Him: I was praying, fasting, confesses (I told Him He already knew I had this problem), confessed to the mens ministry at church, and that I was struggling which means I was putting up a fight (quoting my at the time pastor), I asked how this was a hindrance. He said to me "But you are still doing it." He did not accept any of my excuses at all, when He said this I knew it was the truth and it shut my mouth from making any more excuses. He was right. So I humbled myself and opened my heart up to Him simply wanting the truth, even if I had been deceived through church, I just wanted to know the truth. After waiting a moment nothing else happened and I went to bed.

The next morning I was in heated temptation and I felt convicted and like trash because I was back here again even after that encounter with Jesus the night before. So I called out to Him and said Jesus I am opening the door, whatever you are going to do, do it cause you know what I am going to do. Immediately I heard in my heart "THIS IS NOT PLEASING TO ME". This went through my whole body. I submitted in shock saying "Ok, why did you not just say this before?" I was at a loss of words and amazed at how authoritative this thought impression was. All the temptations, thoughts, images and compulsions where gone. That day He started opening up the scriptures to me, and showing me ones I had never seen before especially about overcoming and I received teaching that if He can deliver me from one sin, He can deliver all from all sins. He also taught me that the Grace of God gives us power to stop sinning and is a teacher, I read this later in the Bible the first time that I can remember about a month later (Titus 2:11-12). In this I realized Jesus could teach me things in the Bible and about the Bible. I made the decision that I wanted to follow Him, I was willing to learn. In this season He began to call me son.

Taught by Jesus

2011: About 5 weeks after my deliverance, the enemy used life situations to weaken me and then I fell into sin again. I went back to Jesus and He showed me I was not following Him. He then taught me what I needed to do to overcome the temptations. He instructed me on changing the way I slept. When I obeyed Him the temptations vanished. I went back on the instruction immediately to make sure it was not just a coincidence and to my amazement temptations started coming back slowly. So I obeyed His instruction. The instruction was to simply get rid of my pillows. It sounded foolish and no human being on earth would have been able to tell me this was a door to thoughts coming in my head. I found the new temptations were to go back on the instruction He gave me, especially after I was doing very well. If I did I would fall into sin go back to Jesus and He would remind me. The enemy change things up on me about three times as I was growing, Jesus each time would tell me what to do and I had to press and endure in obeying His instruction doing things His way. I was learning how to follow His leading, learning how to overcome temptations and learning the basics in how the saving Grace of God worked. The last instruction took the longest to master.

2011-2012: In the first month I was delivered, I was arguing with a brother about church because he was speaking against and criticizing it. I did not believe all churches were wrong or evil at the time, and I did very much love the church I was at as well as the people there. Even though there was sin and hypocrisy I continued to believe Jesus was working on it, so I took offense when I heard someone bashing church. When I started to replay to him, Jesus convicted me and said "Why are you arguing with My servant? Why are you not coming to Me?" So I went to Jesus and asked for the truth. The next week, and on going even to this day, the LORD started showing me what this brother was talking about and much more. That day I was ready to leave but He did not let me. He used that church to teach me patience, long suffering and many other things to develop my character in Him. This was done by Him turning everyone against me because I was testifying of the truth, that we can and must stop sinning and their deeds were wicked. I was also hated because He lead me to go against traditional order while still up holding His order and His righteousness. keep in mind the hatred was not murderous or even that of a violent nature but that of a spiritual nature. I learned that hating someone could be as easy as gossiping, speaking falsely and or being angry or offended with them with out a cause. To my face many still loved me. Also I did not start being hated and persecuted and argued with and start seeing what Jesus spoke about and even begin to relate to the things He said would happen to us until I started obeying Him. He also showed me that in North America, Christians kill by destroying ones reputation and character, unlike the other side of the world that destroys physically, North America destroys with words. I began to experience this.

After 14 months He finally told me to stop going, I did not believe right away, He then showed me in a vision the church I was going to compared to the Catholic church and all the traditions, the buildings everything, I noticed a part from culture there was no foundational difference. He told me they were all "cults". I did not believe this was Jesus, He then told me go and look up the definition of cult so I did, this is what I found:

1. a particular system of religious worship, especially with reference to its rites and ceremonies.
2. an instance of great veneration of a person, ideal, or thing, especially as manifested by a body of admirers:
the physical fitness cult.
3. the object of such devotion.
4. a group or sect bound together by veneration of the same thing, person, ideal, etc.
5. Sociology. a group having a sacred ideology and a set of rites centering around their sacred symbols.
6. a religion or sect considered to be false, unorthodox, or extremist, with members often living outside of conventional society under the direction of a charismatic leader.
7. the members of such a religion or sect.
8. any system for treating human sickness that originated by a person usually claiming to have sole insight into the nature of disease, and that employs methods regarded as unorthodox or unscientific.
-Dictionary.com (2012-2017)

This applies to all Christian denomination including non-denominations (Definition number 8: spiritually speaking). The religions of this world especially Christianity are cults, but they call themselves world religions and call small religions cults. The denominations and the religion of Christianity in general they are all fans of Jesus and gather because of Him like most cults do to the one they revere, but they are not actual disciples of Him, who are taught by Him and trained by Him, and know Him, they do not follow and obey Him. They place their respect and fanatic zeal of the Bible and their traditions in the place of where their faithful obedience to His Words should be, and it's this that makes them hypocrites.

After leaving church, I found the temptations and the lustful attacks dropped significantly. Jesus showed me because of the many people who were bound to lust and the preaching which was a preaching that lead to ones desires (He is Able, God will bless you, God will come through, Don't give up on Him) type preaching, because I was in this environment every week, it added to my pressure in trying to completely overcome the tempter. The enemy used it against me and it weakened my defenses rather than building me up.

2013: Jesus a month after coming out of church, began to teach me about false prophets and many more things about this world and the religions. I did not completely invest in what I heard, it was hard for me to believe that almost all pastors and religious leaders were false prophets, because they are not trained by Him and continued to sin. Jesus sent me back to my old church and there with in two weeks exposed everything. The first week I doubted Jesus was actually unpleased with this church, because the preaching sounded great. Jesus told me not to pay attention to the preaching (it's a gift), the next day He used a brother through prophecy to rebuke me and I went back the second week more focused and obeyed everything He said to do. When the time came for prophecy came, the pastor shut down the prophecy and came very close to (if he did not) to blaspheming the Holy Spirit. In speaking to him privately about the matter he indicated God gave pastors righteous authority over the churches which gives him power to stop prophesyings though he would not stop tongues; yet Paul said prophecy is greater than tongues, and prophecies should be spoken and then judged. It was not allowed to be spoken. This pastor then said he knew this spirit of prophecy was not of God because when he told me to sit down, I did not obey his (the pastors) voice and instead knelt down. He indirectly stated he knew it was not the Holy Spirit for sure because the Holy Spirit would have obeyed him because he is the pastor and Jesus gave the pastors all the authority over the church; he was unable to show me this in the Bible. His initial suspicion came because he saw the manifestation of my face, not because of the words he heard come out of my mouth, for this was not the first time the LORD had done this. He did not listen to the words which he stopped, nor did he remember the words of previous prophesy spoken before.

After this Jesus continued to teach me and show me and even have me speak with many more pastors, bishops and ministers from different churches. All of them still sinning, some were terrified by the message the LORD had me speak, others received it like a love song but Jesus told me they would not actually start following Him. A common theme people would say to me is "You need to find a mentor and the LORD will perfect you under them". I was always being led back to man, even if my testimony was received, that Jesus delivered me and now I have been learning from Him directly. I did not know at the time, but the Bible has a name for this.

Following Jesus

2012-2014: He had already instructed me to go out on the streets to speak to people about coming to know Him, but after He pulled me out of church He wanted me to do this with more of my time. I and another brother in another part of the world were doing this in our own areas and would fellowship after. I found we were on the same schedule in different timezones. During this time I got to meet many different Christians from many different backgrounds. Jesus told me to ask all of them, "Have you come to know Jesus and how do you know?", I met two people who answered correctly, one only answered because she knew the scripture (1 John 2:3-6) but they were not doing it, the other was an actual sister who traveled from her town to mine because Jesus told her too, she learns from Him and obeys Him. The rest did not know Him, this was over a span of over two years, this scared me, because I talked to a lot of people everywhere in that town and the surrounding towns, even my own old church members I saw on the street. I spoke to many other people of other religions and also those of no religion, in this I watched Jesus touch many who did not believe, some (even small groups) on the spot believed the gospel. Others went home saying they seriously have some thinking to do about their religion. Some who never believed in God said they were going home to pray and speak to Jesus that night. I would like to add He had used me miraculously by planting me in locations and telling me about people who were going to come and what to say, or plant me in locations and speak to the same person; one guy this happened to about 7 times, the last time Jesus lead me to his house. i would just walk around listening to Him and follow his leading. I was always prepared with the right words for each person and if I did not have the right words, I would receive them on the spot, while the person was talking. I also found I was able to look at people and already know about them, Jesus would tell me about them, if they believed or not, I had never seen this done before in church, especially not when church people go out to evangelize.

During this time Jesus was still training me and teaching me how to completely overcome sin. I was following His instructions seeing victory and when I disobeyed His instructions I fell into sin. As I was continuing in His instructions I began to find it hard to go back to sin as easily and the enemy started hitting me with very hard and crafty temptations. I began to get hit hard with hours of temptations which would last up to 8-9 hours. If I endured the enemy would leave and it would be like nothing happened, if I fell it was because I caved in and stopped doing what Jesus told me to do to endure and resist. Other temptations would be other peoples demons jumping off of them and pounding my mind with thoughts. Other times I would feel physical manifestations (for example being dumped with slime) hit me then get pounded with thoughts and would have to resist. The enemy was not tempting me but full out attacking me. Jesus in 2013, really began teaching me about spiritual warfare and showing me how to pray with the sword of the Spirit and completely watch as he destroyed the enemies before me. I was battling and overcoming double-mindedness and doubts as well now.

Before I left my church I had joined a mens prayer group, after I had left I continued in fellowship with them because they too had a zeal to obey Jesus and see the churches repent and do things the right way. The gifts of prophecy were being used heavily here, however I watched as some began to prophesy falsely not because of willful maliciousness but because of lack of diligence. Seducing spirits began to try and manipulate people even peoples relationships. Eventually this spirit wanted us to confirm what Jesus says to us personally by coming to the prayer group and having all the prophets agree and confirm the words that one hears. Again, this was leading people to now trust in men (gifted prophets). I asked Jesus about this and He showed me the error in how the scripture was used to confirm the false prophecy saying that God's word is established by two or three witnesses. This was quoted in the prophesy and the Bible does not say this. A lot of the members began to have a problem with me because I was no longer under a human pastor, even though one of those members was used to prophesy and rebuke me for my doubt during my last visit to my old church. I never told them what went down, I only told them God led me out, I did not tell them about when Jesus sent me back and what had happened, and how one of them was used to wipe me back in check when I was doubting. After this they no longer spoke to me to my face about my lack of human leadership. Though it burned them, years later I found out they gossiped about me behind my back and even had church services about me. The group eventually split in to three, one side started a new church, this pastor also rebuked me for not being under a human head, I told him Jesus is my Pastor and he said to me that that was a lie. He also commanded me to not speak to people on the streets about Jesus, I found this odd since I had not been on the streets for about a year at this point. Ironically Jesus sent me there to speak to him about ceasing from sin completely, he got uncomfortable and changed the subject when I spoke on the subject that there is no excuse for unknown sin, since the Holy Spirit convicts us and we are to be following Him. This pastor was the only one I knew who preached 1 John 3:9, yet the prayer group split because of sin, hypocrisy and pride. You can not split if everyone is obeying Jesus. The other group from the division stayed with their original church and lastly some brothers and myself continued prayer meeting through out the week but at one of our brothers houses.

During this season we saw many people get baptized in the Holy Spirit, get baptized in water and start hearing the voice of Jesus. We saw many healings and miracles. But many of them still clung to the world, others continued in religion and never came to a place where they were able to stand against sin. Others just could not let go of sin, this was grievous and devastating to me. We had crossed paths with different fellowships, some of the false glory movement, who sat under teachings of other prophets and other men, they continued sinning but gloried in miracles. By the end of this season a few of us were being perfected and were slowly coming to a place where we completely stopped sinning, because we continued pressing into Jesus in spite of the different winds of doctrines.

100% All for Jesus

2015-2016: To be added when the LORD leads.

Current State: My current state of life right now is completely dedicated to Jesus and the Kingdom of God, Jesus has removed my past passions and desires and sprung in me new ones which circulate around the Kingdom. He has been consistently teaching and training me in new things and deepening understanding of the old things. I am still tempted by the enemy but am not enticed, I am still attacked, but I no longer fall in temptation anymore, because I practice what Jesus has taught me and follow His leading. Now my focus is making sure I am following closely to the point of not making any errors or mistakes, even in speech (James 3:1-2). I see many perfect days in this. Many may not believe the things written here, and I do understand, for many do not even believe the very clear words written in the scriptures nor the convictions of the Holy Spirit, so I do not expect many to believe these words of lesser reputation and honour, however they are still true. For this is my witness of Jesus power.

Current Conclusion

I will conclude this time-line with this: the LORD taught me, what we believe does not determine the truth, what we believe determines how we will live and the direction we walk. Atheists believe there is no God so they live like there is no God, that does not mean there is no God, Christians believe we cannot stop sinning in this life, so they live like it and continue to sin, this does not mean we cannot stop sinning in this life. Likewise choosing to not believe anyones testimony does not automatically make that testimony void. Ultimately we are to believe the truth. The wisest thing to do is to go back to Jesus who is the Truth and ask Him "What is the Truth?" When we receive it we are to believe it and in believing we will see the results. Belief is a choice to invest our selves in which ever subject to the point of devotion and obedience (true worship), this decision is often made by ones perceptions and/or desires. We should be making this decision based on the Words that come from the mouth of God.

We can stop sinning, click here if you are struggling.

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